Cannes Lions 2017 by Peter Baert

HARRY

(MUSIC: Over-the-top sentimental/nostalgic music)

V/O
"It was the year the final Harry Potter book appeared. A time before Uber, exploding Kugas and Carpool Karaoke. When you used your cell phone to make phone calls. When Miley was famous for playing Hanna Montana, not twerking. And Tiger was famous for playing the fairway, not the field. It was long before watches counted steps. When Chuck Norris jokes were still funny. Kidding! You don’t stop laughing at Chuck Norris jokes. Chuck Norris jokes stop laughing at you. When DVD
stores were easy to find. A time when you swallowed tablets, Blackberries weren’t embarrassing and Caitlyn was still Bruce. Before Pokémon Go had come, and gone. It was the year Rihanna opened her umbrella, ella, ella. It was 2007.
Times change.
Power doesn’t. Duracell Quantum batteries - guaranteed to last for ten years in storage."

Meanwhile, the radio spots for KFC, the Grand Prix winner in radio, created a great deal of atmosphere in the room.

REPEAT THE PUNCHLINE

(MUSIC: Melancholic Music)

MVO: (Hesitant exasperated grunts)
ANNCR: Take a deep breath.
MVO1: Uhh… When your mom stands up for you in a Facebook fight.
ANNCR: That is sad.
MVO2: When you drop your phone on your face while reading in bed.
ANNCR: Soooo sad.
MVO3: When your best friend calls you Al but your name is Quintin.
ANNCR: I can understand your sadness.
MVO4: When you drop the bass… and nobody notices.
ANNCR: I’m sorry. That is… that is sad.
MVO5: When some dude offers you his seat on the bus.
ANNCR: Why? Why would he do that?
MVO6: When you see your ex girlfriend laughing.
ANNCR: Mmmm that is sad.
MVO7: When they ask you to repeat the punchline.
ANNCR: Soooo sad.
MVO8: When the limited offer KFC Double Down Man Meal goes off market on the 9th of January.
ANNCR: That is, without doubt, the saddest thing of all.

REAL

Entry Summary
“Colon D” typed is :D

Brief Explanation
In a culture that celebrates the carefully crafted selfie, there is nothing more beautiful, more revealing, or more disarming than a real authentic smile. Milk helps to grow healthy teeth, so World Champion Slam Poet Harry Baker wrote a poem as an ode to the moments you see them. Sound design creates an evocative world with effects that are familiar to young people.

Script In English

Male Voice: It’s a known fact that milk helps for healthy teeth to grow, So I dedicate this to those who put their teeth on show. I don’t just mean the winners. I don’t just mean the dreamers. I dedicate this to the grinners. I dedicate this to the beamers. Not that docile, placid, Over-practiced, Photo-static selfie face. That mildly tilted, Slightly stilted Nicely filtered, “help me” face. I mean that proper smile, Could cross the Nile,C rocodile wicked grin. That extra fat, Cheshire cat, Lips stretched to max to fit it in. None of that sugar-coated fake that leaves you looking like a mumblecrust, Or insecure, lips demure, No fun “unless I’m drunk enough”. It’s that genuine, friendly grin. Beckoning to let you in, That totally, colon D, Cannot help but show the teeth. So you can have your manufactured packaged acting happy selfie-style. I’d rather keep it simple, cheeky dimples, with a healthy smile.

Female Voice: Anchor. Grow strong.

PENGUIN CLASSICS RADIO - 'GREEN COVER'

Brief Explanation
This radio commercial is part of a campaign for Exclusive Books to promote the Penguin Classics collection - a series of books featuring some of the world's best writers packaged in very plain covers.It imagines how Franz Kafka might have described the colour of his own Penguin Classics book cover. And aims to demonstrate that when the writing is good enough, a plain cover is all you need.

Script In English

PENGUIN CLASSICS RADIO - 'GREEN COVER'KAFKA: On the outside it is of the most peculiar colour. Like the leaves of the old oak that stands alone near the top of Petrin Hill. It had taken root too far from water and so was never as lush and bright as you would expect of a tree its size. Even in Spring it had an insipid tone. 
There were two squares of it. And like the tree, surrounded by  xuberance, it was the muted colour that would draw your attention. Provoking neither joy nor sorrow. Like overcooked beans or cold cabbage soup.
ANNCR: Franz Kafka in the plain green cover, because sometimes words are all you need. The Penguin Classics collection. Available at Exclusive Books nationwide.

COLOGNE

The radio commercial ’Cologne’.

(SFX: Classical music in the background.)

(An interesting narrator’s voice:) Somewhere on a street in Cologne. He is driving in his car. She is walking barefoot on the sidewalk. He
is world champion of barbecue three times in a row. She runs a vegan blog called ’A woman sees green’. He created the phrase ’everything under 600 grams is carpaccio’. She recently cultivated a new sort of
broccoli. He thinks of herb marinade when he sees Miss Piggy on TV. She gets a skin rash when she hears Meat Loaf playing on the radio. He is driving to the slaughterhouse. She is posting an organic chicoree recipe on her smartphone. He is wondering whether a calf’s brain could be grilled. She is stepping out onto the road and ...

(SFX: The loud beeping sound of the Volkswagen Pedestrian Monitoring System.)

(The narrator continues:) Thanks to the Pedestrian Monitoring System from Volkswagen these two people will never meet. Fortunately.

(Off-Speaker:) Volkswagen.

LIVES 3 OF 4 "NICKY"

A10 Retail & e-Commerce

Script In English
(MUSIC all throughout)

MAN: At 14, I found myself trapped, in a dead marriage. And I wanted out.At 21, I got my wish. I came home and the spiteful witch had vanished. By 42, people started talking, asking questions.
About her... and her insurancepolicy. At 65, I figured it's time I told her parents…and they're not pleased. When I reach 100, she was still nowhere to be found. There was nothing I could do, so I make love to
one of my students. By 220, everyone believed I killed my wife. Everyone that is, except for her. Because at 224, she returns. Now, at 251, I’m trapped, in a dead marriage. And there’s no way out.

V/O:With a book, you’re not just turning a page, you’re living a whole other life. Gillian Flynn’s "Gone Girl" and other thrillers. Available at the Fully Booked bookstores and fullybookedonline.com